So I am stepping WAY WAY WAY out of my comfort zone.
Next week, I’m heading to New York City for the annual BlogHer conference.
It’s a three day conference celebrating all things blogging. I’m heading down a day early for the pre-conference HealthMinder day, which will have specific special needs panels.
If you don’t know me, you may not know why this is feeling so out of my league. I’m the one much happier behind a computer screen than in a crowd. At a party, I’m hanging by the food and drink table or leaning up against a wall in the corner. I prefer to stay quiet, unnoticed. I get anxious and nervous at Costco, so giant conferences make me edgy.
But I just had to go to this one. And I have four reasons why.
Reason #1: In addition to writing here I’m also the managing editor at two other blogging sites. For over a year now, I’ve been a part of the amazing team at the SPD Blogger Network, a group blog for parents of children with sensory processing disorder. The site has a special place in my heart. SPD was Howie’s first diagnosis. Two years ago, when I started to write my own personal blog here, I connected with Hartley Steiner at her blog. She encouraged my writing and put my blog on her site. When she founded the SPDBN, she asked me to be there to help. And there I’ve stayed. We’ve created a loving, supportive and understanding community there on the blog site and on our Facebook page. It’s the place I come to when I’m feeling particularly low or incredibly proud. Every story is shared with honesty and love. I understand my son better because of the incredible people who write for us every day.
The SPDBN relies on posts from parents. Each day we post a new story. I’m going to BlogHer to meet other parents who share a similar journey and I hope I can convince them to come write for us.
(side note: I’ll be the one with the cute Otto the Octopus. See photo below. Made especially for me to take to BlogHer by the incredibly talented SPDBN team Karla from The Itsy Bitsy Spider. Find Otto, find me.)
The other site I help manage is The Oxygen Mask Project. It was started with my friend Shannon as a way for us to reclaim ourselves, reminding us that we need to take care of ourselves if we’re going to take care of our kids. It started small. We started tweeting with the #yearoftheoxygenmask, sharing what we had done for ourselves that day. For me, it was drinking my coffee when it was hot. And showering. While to many that sounds stupid, for me just doing that was a challenge. I was so busy getting people out the door to school/therapy/baseball/piano/therapy that there was never anytime for me. I hit bottom. And now we have 880+ Facebook friends and 52 posts from writers from all over the world. And every day we’re talking about how we’re important too.
There will be a special panel at HealthMinder day called Overcoming Burnout: Replenishing Your Reserves. I’m going to BlogHer because this is exactly what we’ve been talking about for six months.
Reason #2: Two of my favorite people are being honored at the special Voice of the Year. I can’t wait to hear my friend Varda as a reader for the “Heart” nominated posts. I expect there to be very few dry eyes in the house.
And I’m so thrilled that my friend Stimey was nominated as a Voice of the Year for her incredible post Not Even Wrong. This post changed my life. That’s not hyperbole. I read it at a time when we were having tremendous struggles with Howie and school. Her post about her son Jack changed EVERYTHING about how I viewed Howie’s school life, and made me step back and look at how we needed to teach him. Because my perspective changed, I was better able to communicate with his team at school and we all turned things around. I am forever grateful to Stimey for what she wrote. I’m going to BlogHer to tell her in person. Again.
Reason #3 goes with Reason #2: I’m going to be with friends. Including friends I’ve never met.
And, yes, I know that probably only makes sense to the blogging/social media world.
The best example of this is how I met my BlogHer roommate, Kristin.
Last summer, my kids’ school opening was delayed a week due to Hurricane Irene. I was completely stuck for ideas on how to entertain them when they were supposed to be in their classrooms. I whined about this on my blog’s Facebook page, and this angel named Kristin asked if I wanted to join her and her boys at their swim club. We had never met, but had a mutual Facebook friend and had become friends that way. I sent her a message saying simply YES! We chatted via email and text, and there we were at her swim club for the whole day. Our boys played and swam – sometimes together, sometimes doing their own thing. And because we were both autism moms…well the rest is history.
We’ve only seen each other once since that day at the pool. But when I decided to go to BlogHer, I asked Kristin if she’d go too. In addition to her amazing blog, she’s also written for the SPDBN and The Oxygen Mask Project. So now we’re taking the bus together down to the big city, and I’m hoping she’ll help me get out of the corner.
But this is what blogging has done for me. In addition to the incredible “in real life” friends I had, I’ve connected with a whole group of insanely smart, funny, snarky special needs parents who have taught me so much just through their words. I’ve been lucky enough to meet some of them before and now count them as my closest friends.
I can’t wait to meet this friend, and this friend, and this friend, and this friend, and this friend. I’ve been reading their work for so long and now I get to put a face with the words.
And I’m hoping a few other friends will come join me for a drink or two. Or three..
I’m going to BlogHer to connect with the people who have taught me so much.
Reason #4: I need to get away.
I’m not going to lie. This has been a long long summer. I need a little break. In addition to the usual summer things, I’ve started a new project and it’s been a lot of work to get off the ground. I’m stressed. And I’m taking it out on the kids.
I need a break to sleep. And shower. And pee alone.
I have to get some time to regroup. To feel better. To breathe. I’m going to BlogHer to find myself again.
I’m terrified of the three days away from my family. I’ve never been gone this long. But I know Tim and the boys will be fine. We have an incredible support system around us here who will help if (when?) things get sticky. I will have a social story ready for the boys so they are prepared too.
And when I come back I will be ready to take it all on again.
I’m stepping out of my comfort zone and going to BlogHer’12. See you there.
“Start spreading the news,
I’m leaving today.
I want to be a part of it –
New York, New York.” – New York, New York by Frank Sinatra
July 26, 2012 at 11:08 am
I would be terrified, too. We’re in similar situations – never been away. Not the time quite yet for me. I’ll be cheering you on from here, though!
July 26, 2012 at 11:14 am
That is awesome!!!! Just awesome!!! Have a most wonderful, wonderful time!!!! You are gonna do great!! I know it!!!!!
July 26, 2012 at 11:41 am
I love this post, it is as if you just read my mind! I’m excited and nervous for all the same reasons – last time I was away from my family for more than a night, Johnny wasn’t even born and James hadn’t been diagnosed. Although I might not be the one to get you into the center of the room, we will NOT be in the corner. We are going to have an incredible time, have time to ourselves and recharge, AND meet amazing women!
July 26, 2012 at 11:47 am
I can relate. Big groups give me palpitations, too. But, I have found that a little step outside of the comfort zone can help create some amazing moments. Have a fantastic time! You deserve it!
July 26, 2012 at 11:57 am
Wow, Alysia, what an honor to be included here among your friends. I’m so glad to have met so many incredible people like you online and now we finally get to meet! I anticipate much talking talking talking, with a lot of laughing, some crying and a bit of drinking in there somewhere. 😉 wish I could arrange so that everyone could come, and we need a month, not a few days. But I’ll take what I can get!
July 26, 2012 at 1:19 pm
Yay! I am so excited, too. And yes, I am also really looking forward to a kid break. And I am not ashamed of it.
I will definitely hunt you down… Perhaps we can weep together at VOTY.
July 26, 2012 at 1:41 pm
Just want to share with you how much I look forward to and enjoy reading your blogs. A dear friend introduced me to the site and I spent one Sat evening reading the whole history. My Husband would keep asking me what was I doing on the computer so long. It finally became our joke I was online with my boyfriend Howie. Although I don’t have a child diagnosed with pdd or autism or spd I did raise a child with serious sensory issues so I can relate to the struggles a child faces in overcoming these obstacles. My boys are older than yours and there were not as many resources out there so “Raising Your Spirited Child” became my bible. I still look back at it often.
Reading your blogs helps me to better understand the students and their families I work with. My hope is that more teachers, special ed as well as regular ed teachers will take the time to read more about their students and their families. It would be so beneficial to the learning process. Progress not Perfection (another quote from my bible)… Once more teachers can understand the whole child, not just the behavior we will see more progress.
Thanks again for being so honest and sharing your story with so many. You ARE making a difference. Enjoy New York!!!
Dana
July 26, 2012 at 3:41 pm
Looking forward to meeting you in person as well. Thanks for including me and I will be a newbie as well. See you in a week. 🙂
July 26, 2012 at 3:42 pm
I thought I was the only one to freak out in Cost Co. You will be fine. YOU NEED THIS! And I cannot wait to meet you and hug you in person.
July 26, 2012 at 9:06 pm
I am excited for you! What an amazing time you will have.
July 26, 2012 at 10:15 pm
Wow. Your reason number 2 blew me away. I am honored to have had an impact. Thank you so much for your kind words. I can’t wait to have a margarita with you, friend!
July 27, 2012 at 8:29 am
I’m excited and nervous too! Happy to have Jenny connect the two of us. How fun to meet someone from my hometown!
July 27, 2012 at 11:08 am
Oh, Alysia, I hope you have a fantastic time! And I can’t wait to hear about it. Wish I could go!
July 28, 2012 at 12:13 pm
Good for you! It sounds like an amazing conference, I wish we could have a blogging conference in Ireland too. You have plenty good reasons to go and well done on all your blogging work. Enjoy.I was in New York in April and loved it 🙂
xx Jazzy
July 28, 2012 at 8:35 pm
I am going to BlogHer for the first time, too! I alternate between being as excited as a kid going to summer camp and being completely, totally terrified. 😉
July 29, 2012 at 6:02 am
Can’t wait to see you again, my friend. Getting away for 4 days last year to the Blogher conference in San Diego was the first and longest break I’ve ever had from my kids. too, and was amazing and wonderful. Breathe, you will have an amazing con because you have a community. Us. Looking forward to delivering hugs in person in 4 days!
July 29, 2012 at 8:33 am
I will for ever and ever remember you for your oxygen mask post. I have always wanted to tell you how it changed me. I wasn’t wearing one or even attempting to put one on but it became my goal to at least reach for it after I read what you wrote. So Blogher? It’s my oxygen mask. And to be among the people you want to meet is such an honor. Can’t wait to see you. I’ll dm you my cell # so we can make sure not to miss each other and sit next to each other and blubber as Varda reads.
July 29, 2012 at 9:21 am
I’m so happy for you for this opportunity and I hope you have a wonderful time!
July 30, 2012 at 9:50 am
I’m so glad you are able to do this conference. I hope it’s a fantastic time and that you come home refreshed! (but oh so glad it’s you, ’cause just the thought of something like blogher just about gives me hives.)
July 30, 2012 at 11:18 am
Have a fantastic time. Taking a break from responsibilities is very addictive. This could be the start of a regular habit! Enjoy every second…….