“I made green choices when you were gone! Where’s my special treat?”
Crap.
Saturday night, I went out with some friends for a much needed girls’ night out. We saw the movie “Bridesmaids” (my first non-animated theater movie in 5 years) and stayed for dinner and drinks. I told Howie that if he made “green choices” while I was out, I’d bring him back a special treat.
I forgot. Maybe somewhere in the back of my mind I thought there was no way he’d have a good night, considering the state I left him in. But Tim said that after he got over the initial shock of his pizza looking “wrong”, he settled in and had a great night.
And now, at 7am, he wanted his treat. I had to think fast on my feet.
I tried to think of all the places I could have hidden a new Hot Wheels car. I tend to buy them in bulk, because…well, you just never know.
Suddenly, something caught my eye outside our front window.
Howie’s had a bit of an obsession with dandelions lately, specifically the ones that have turned white with seeds, ready to fly away in the wind. Whenever he sees one, we have to stop. In the yard. On a walk. On the way into school and leaving. He spots them from the car. He has to pick them and blow the seeds away until the flower is clean.
Right outside our window was one perfect white seeded dandelion. Just one.
“How about this special treat? Do you want to go out in your pajamas by yourself and get that dandelion? I’ll watch you from the window.”
I thought for sure he’d say no. Or beg me to come with him. He won’t even go up to his room alone, so I was afraid this would backfire. We’ve never let him out in the yard without one of us. I’ve always been too nervous that his impulses would take over and he’d get hurt.
Howie jumped up, looked out the window, and ran over to get his shoes.
“I can go out all by myself.” Not a question, but a statement.
I opened the door and he ran out front.
I stood at the window and watched him carefully approach the dandelion. He did not want to risk any potential breeze that would blow the seeds away until he was ready. He quickly pulled the dandelion out of the ground. And what followed was pure joy.
We see the dandelion as a weed, growing and invading our lawns and our flower beds.
My son sees them as something special. Something to set free and watch in wonder.
Once the dandelion was empty, he threw it back on the lawn, ran up to the door and knocked to come in.
“Did you like your special treat?”, I asked.
“YES! Thank you!”
His older brother Gerry came into the room and asked what was going on.
“Gerry! GERRY! I-went-outside-all-by-myself-in-my-pajamas-and-I-blew-all-the-seeds-away-and-then-I-came-back-inside. In my PAJAMAS!” He was so excited it all came out like one giant word.
“WOW!”, replied Gerry, his voice dripping with over-the-top enthusiasm in an effort to show me that he’s being a good big brother. “That’s so BRAVE of you.”
A big smile came over Howie’s face. “Yes,” he said. “I was brave. It was my special treat.”
“You belong among the wildflowers
You belong somewhere close to me
Far away from your trouble and worry
You belong somewhere you feel free
You belong somewhere you feel free” – Wildflowers by Tom Petty
May 23, 2011 at 1:47 pm
This is SO completely precious!!
May 23, 2011 at 2:03 pm
thank you 🙂
May 23, 2011 at 1:51 pm
This is one of the things I’ve always loved about my son, especially when he was little like your guy, that he could be motivated and rewarded by such seemingly simple things. Freebie car magazines from the supermarket were a great reward for him. A walk around a parking lot. Really, he’d probably even now, at age 18, go for the dandelion — he’s always picking them for me and his school aides. So sweet.
May 23, 2011 at 2:03 pm
That is so sweet! This is the part that I hope never goes away – that ability to see something so special in things that the rest of us just discard. I’m happy to know that your son still sees those special things. Thank you 🙂 You made my day.
May 23, 2011 at 1:57 pm
Isn’t it amazing how they’re able to embrace the little things? He is just so amazingly cute!
(And we’ve been obsessed with dandilions here too…)
May 23, 2011 at 2:02 pm
I know – I think that was the best thing about it. So small to us, but just perfect for them.
May 23, 2011 at 1:59 pm
Adorable! Jesse feels the same way about the “blowing dandelions”.
May 23, 2011 at 2:01 pm
I think our boys would all be good friends.
May 23, 2011 at 2:02 pm
Tears in my eyes. that is so lovely. You’re a great mom & fast thinking on your feet, too. (It was killing me to be in Lowell again this weekend – so close to you but unable to see you. On the other hand, had a great time w/ my family)
May 23, 2011 at 2:19 pm
Glad you had fun! We’ll catch you another time 🙂
May 23, 2011 at 2:26 pm
I love this…I love the look on his face and the pride in his eyes!
My little one loves dandelions too!
I always grew up with the idea that if you made a wish right before you blew, if a seed landed and grew, your wish would come true.
As an adult, I know they are weeds and others don’t like them, but they never bother me…I just like to think of them as wishes come true! 🙂
May 23, 2011 at 3:24 pm
Awww! So cute! The look on his face! That’s some fast thinking on your feet! Good job mama!
May 23, 2011 at 5:16 pm
I love this! Sometimes we have to stop appreciate the world through our children’s eyes. My son will exhibit pure joy in the simplest of things, and it brings me pure joy in return 🙂 Thank you for sharing!
May 23, 2011 at 5:39 pm
You’re amazing my friend. And I’m SO PROUD of Howie x
May 23, 2011 at 8:01 pm
I love this. I love that you got your much-deserved nightout. I love that he made green choices all night. I love that he sees the magic of dandelions, and so do you. I love that you find a way to capture that magic in your words and share it with us. I love the expression on his face. I love this!
May 23, 2011 at 8:34 pm
I love his smile–pure joy!! I’m always amazed at how the small things can be so much fun…thanks for the reminder.
May 23, 2011 at 9:18 pm
Oh….this is so beautiful just beautiful!! Reading this just put a huge smile on my face!!! Your beautiful words his precious smile!! Just priceless!!
May 23, 2011 at 10:27 pm
this is so touching and beautiful. I love how in the moment you were. The pictures are precious!
May 24, 2011 at 3:07 am
It is moments like this that truely define great parents. So many people would blow it off, make some excuse or offer up the first thing they could find. You were able to look around and spot something that not only worked but that would REALLY be a treat for Howie.
I also needed to read the part about the pizza tonight. Long story short, my family had waffles for dinner because my SPD really wanted them and then we proceeded to freak out……first because the waffles absorbed all the butter and he couldn’t see it anymore…….then it was because the half of a waffle he wanted was “torn” and then finally because the final waffle we had had holes in it (because it was the last one so it didn’t fill the entire waffle).
June 5, 2011 at 7:36 am
You are definitely NOT alone in the food eating world! we go through this EVERY day. Check out my post at http://www.hartleysboys.com/2011/01/eat-doughnut.html. All about our eating struggles.
May 24, 2011 at 9:40 am
Just wonderful. 🙂 You know what’s interesting is that Julia is the exact same way about dandelions. We ALWAYS.HAVE.TO.STOP so she can pick them and blow the seeds away.
always. 🙂
Great job, Mom!
May 24, 2011 at 10:28 am
My youngest son (who is also on the spectrum) is constantly reminding us to slow down and enjoy the simple things. He blesses is in so many ways, but this is one of the biggest. He takes it all in, without skipping the little, or the everyday, that we let pass right by. Now is all we have, and he reminds us to live in it.
May 24, 2011 at 11:19 am
Thank you for telling that story. The second picture is my favorite.
Years and years ago my little brother (with autism) went outside in his PJs and started swimming in the kiddy pool. A special treat indeed.
May 24, 2011 at 5:39 pm
I heart this story. So sweet. So big. So brave. So pleased w himself. 🙂
May 24, 2011 at 8:45 pm
that is one beautiful boy.
May 24, 2011 at 10:14 pm
What an amazing look of pure joy! Way to think fast on your feet 🙂
May 25, 2011 at 9:00 am
What a very special treat for your son! And for us too…. thanks for sharing. Such joy on his face… beautiful 🙂
xx Jazzy
May 25, 2011 at 3:16 pm
I love this! What wonderful serendipity to save the day! What joy! What fun! What a powerfully, spectacular moment. Thank you so very much for sharing your incredible words!
May 26, 2011 at 1:48 pm
I.LOVE.THIS! Everything about it…the fact that he turned a rough start around and made green choices, the fact that you offered something you weren’t sure he would want, and the fact that he not only wanted it but he made it SO special. So beautiful, so brave. And SO stinkin’ adorable!! xo
May 26, 2011 at 10:05 pm
Beautiful Boy. Beautiful sentiment. Beautiful post. Thank you!
May 27, 2011 at 10:03 am
[…] Try Defying Gravity relates a happy morning with her son, who doesn’t know they are alleged weeds. […]
May 28, 2011 at 12:41 am
There are so many reasons to love this! This is just terrific. I love how you thought so quickly on your feet! And my daughter is the hugest fan of dandelions ever! She loves blowing them and thinks they are the most beautiful flowers ever!
May 28, 2011 at 4:43 pm
The smile on his face says it all. Beautiful!
May 29, 2011 at 11:37 am
Simple beauty. And that you got him doing it in a photo- brilliant! He has such a beautiful smile! That was some quick thinking mom! 🙂
May 30, 2011 at 9:56 pm
You are genius! My boy does the same thing with dandelions. We always have to stop. AND, he does the same thing about me bringing him something if I have been out. I am usually like, “I bought you a…..CUP! I bought you a new cup and some yogurt. Yay!”
May 31, 2011 at 4:26 pm
This was so sweet. Loved how you captured the moment. He looks so delighted!
May 31, 2011 at 4:45 pm
Your resourceful mommy you!!! Oh I just want to squeeeeeeze him , he is so darn cute!!
June 5, 2011 at 7:37 am
You are all so amazing kind!! It was pure luck, nothing else. Thank you all for sharing your stories of your kids (and family members) and their love of the little things. It’s truly what makes our kids so special.
June 7, 2011 at 8:19 pm
What a great group of friends. You are very blessed.