Umi-goggles on! Little Bear? You see Little Bear, saaaaaay LITTLE BEAR!
I made the call. But this time it was to cancel an appointment, not make one.
The quote above? From my 2 year old Lewis. He’s not just talking now. He’s speaking, having conversations, and using lines from TV shows and making them his own. This spontaneous phrase combined a line from the Nick Jr. show “Team Umizoomi” with a picture from his Little Bear toothpaste container. He put his arms up to his eyes for the goggles, and tried to look for his toothpaste.
The canceled appointment? His scheduled meeting with the zero-to-three developmental clinic for an autism evaluation.
The appointment had been recommended to us by Howie’s developmental pediatrician when I expressed concerns about Lewis’ language delay. Remember her? She’s the one that called me “Super Mom“. At the time the appointment seemed like the fastest way in to see a speech/language pathologist, but she also mentioned that a full evaluation would be a good idea, considering Howie’s diagnosis.
It took me a long time to send in the paperwork. I couldn’t put Lewis’ picture on the forms. I couldn’t go through it all again.
But I finally put the package in the mail. Without the picture. And two weeks later I received the appointment date and time. March 21st.
In the time since I mailed the papers, we’ve seen an explosion of language and development. And now, I see none of the red flags of autism. None.
I see pretend play as he zooms a car around the house and makes rumbling noises, or pours me a cup of pretend tea. I see the ability to follow first/then commands and multi-step directions when I ask him to get his shoes, bring them to me, and then we’ll go outside. I see tantrums caused by his inability to have a toy rather than meltdowns triggered by his inability to control his body. I see him look me in the eye when we talk and I feel him hug me out of love. I see an understanding of emotions when he draws a happy face and labels it “happy!”.
Yes, he’s drawing. Recognizable faces. And he can make the letter “L”. From following my instructions.
All the “appropriate” developmental milestones for a two year old. That’s what we’re seeing now.
I’m trying so hard to focus on how wonderful that is, and not that we’re still working on many of those milestones with Howie. Our almost five year old. They are almost evenly matched now in the social development area. That’s still hard to face. Because it won’t be long before Lewis moves ahead of Howie in many areas. And then where will we be?
Mom! Mom! Get coat and go Kyle’s house!
This was yesterday. Lewis grabbed his coat and handed it to me, asking to go to his friend’s house. I was bursting with pride. How could I say no? He and I now have conversations, share cups of “hot toffee (coffee)”, read books and sing along to Glee together. The articulation isn’t quite there yet, so I’m still going to have early intervention back when he’s 30 months old, just to make sure he’s on track for his age. Just because I can understand him doesn’t mean the rest of the world can.
Right now, though, I’ll take it. It was so different from where we were a year ago with him. That’s why I canceled the appointment.
Last month, I wrote a post called Mother’s Intuition about learning to trust your gut when something’s wrong with your child. I’m using my mother’s intuition again. This time, however, it’s to say that everything is going to be okay.
I may be wrong. But my eyes are wide open and I will be looking for any and every sign along the way. And if I see something that makes me nervous, I know I’ll have the strength to trust my gut and make the call once again.
“I can see clearly now, the rain is gone,
I can see all obstacles in my way
Gone are the dark clouds that had me blind
It’s gonna be a bright (bright), bright (bright)
Sun-Shiny day.” – I Can See Clearly Now by Johnny Nash
March 11, 2011 at 1:55 pm
Oh, yes. Right there with you. Sigh. And smile. And sigh.
Looking forward to getting a hot toffee with you (why is that not a real drink?).
March 11, 2011 at 2:08 pm
When we three get together in May? We need to invent the drink “hot toffee.” I think it’s kinda like a caramel almond cappuccino. Can’t wait!
March 11, 2011 at 2:51 pm
sounds delicious! can’t wait!!!
March 11, 2011 at 2:50 pm
I know you are right here with me. I read your post today as I was writing this one.
March 11, 2011 at 2:00 pm
Great post Alysia. Mother’s intuition while I feel will always seem underrated to many, is so important and something I’ve learned to act on (or not act on) in my own experience. I’ve always felt that sometimes children just need more time on their side to catch up…and what a wonderful feeling it is to see them catch right up and for you to be able to say ” I just knew it all along 😉 Good stuff.
March 11, 2011 at 3:31 pm
thank you so much, my friend!! You have been so supportive – telling me all along that we’d all be talking around the dinner table!! 🙂 thank you for the encouragement this year.
March 11, 2011 at 2:04 pm
I wholeheartedly believe that mothers’ intuition is a fluid thing, and almost always right on the money as it unfolds… such a cool thing to watch that kind of progression, sometimes out of nowhere, and always memorable :0)
March 11, 2011 at 2:54 pm
thank you! I hope so! and definitely memorable, no doubt.
March 11, 2011 at 2:11 pm
Your youngest sounds a lot like my Ethan (my non-spectrum boy)– tons of communicative intent, lots of imaginative play, but articulation troubles with his early speech, a definite delay. Then, after a year of E.I. speech therapy, he had a language explosion at two and a half exactly, and we’ve never looked back.
I hope things keep going on this wonderful trajectory.
And? Hot toffee in May!
March 11, 2011 at 2:55 pm
ah, again Varda we’re leading parallel lives? amazing. I hope we follow Ethan’s lead. And yours 🙂
March 11, 2011 at 2:31 pm
WOOOOOHOOOOO!!!! GO LEWIS! GO LEWIS!
And go YOU too, Alysia. I’m with Rachel that no one knows their kids better than their mother does. NO ONE!!! Good for you!
And I am SO.STINKIN’.JEALOUS! that I can’t meet you all for hot toffee, too. 🙂
March 11, 2011 at 2:55 pm
thank you! next time, hot toffee in your neck of the woods 🙂
March 11, 2011 at 2:39 pm
Mother’s instinct is spot on. Many of the times I have been wrong as a mother is when I ignore it. I am so thrilled for you. Good. Good. News.
March 11, 2011 at 2:56 pm
oh I really really hope so…thank you!!
March 11, 2011 at 3:30 pm
This is SUCH wonderful news Alysia!!! Go Lewis!!
March 11, 2011 at 3:31 pm
thank you Jaimee!!
March 11, 2011 at 3:46 pm
Canceling appointments (as opposed to making them) has got to feel soooo good. I’m really happy for you!
At the same time, as I read this, I’m a little sad. I see what you’re calling age appropriate milestones and I’m still waiting for almost all of them with my three-year-old. I know, I know… every child develops differently… but admit it.. we all have those days when we fail the mantra just a little and let ourselves slip into comparison. Sorry to be a downer… and hugs on your good news.
March 11, 2011 at 3:59 pm
a good friend of mine said the words “age appropriate” should be banished from our language. It should be “child appropriate”. And I shouldn’t have used it.
I know where you are coming from. We’re looking at milestones in a new way with our unique family. It’s not when they hit them, but if and how. It’s much better to think that way 🙂
March 11, 2011 at 4:07 pm
Good for you for following your heart and gut. We have similar situations – I have a 4 yo on the spectrum and a NT 2 yo that I (probably needlessly) put thru a developmental eval just last month. I realized after that I have to turn off the *sign scan* and just enjoy my child. Sounds like you are already there!
March 11, 2011 at 9:12 pm
It took me a while to get where you are – it’s hard when you’re so tuned in to look for those signs, and when you know too much. Good luck to you and your family too.
March 11, 2011 at 5:00 pm
What a wonderful read. Thank you. Between you and Spectrummy Mummy, I need to think about getting shares in Kleenex. 🙂 The crossover of both your latest posts is rather awesome. I am so delighted that these little men are on the paths they are on, the reassurance of this must be huge.
March 11, 2011 at 9:13 pm
Thank you my friend 🙂 I think Spectrummy Mummy and I can finally take a deep breath…for the moment.
March 11, 2011 at 7:08 pm
Yay!
March 11, 2011 at 8:31 pm
Brilliant news Alysia….YAY!
March 12, 2011 at 8:54 am
That is such good news! Yay! And that tent looks awsome!
March 12, 2011 at 2:03 pm
*fistbump*
You the woman!
March 12, 2011 at 3:45 pm
your boys are adorable!
i’m soooo glad that Lewis’ is doing well!!!
March 12, 2011 at 11:21 pm
how super awesome
what a releif to see him meeting these amazing milestones
March 13, 2011 at 10:48 am
Glad he’s making such great (and rapid) progress! Kids happen to amaze us out of nowhere! How exciting for you that you got to cancel an appointment 🙂
March 13, 2011 at 4:09 pm
This is fantastic news! Hurray!
March 15, 2011 at 8:05 pm
* big smile*
I’m thrilled to hear about all this terrific progress – even if I am a bit late in saying so. 🙂 So happy for you.
March 15, 2011 at 8:14 pm
Happy Birthday to your little man! And we totally need a Storyland meetup! ; )
March 18, 2011 at 5:54 pm
Yay! I smiled reading this. Trust your gut mama
April 6, 2011 at 11:24 am
I’ve been there. Our little princess (only girl out of the 4) Did not talk until she was 5. The pretend play she learned from her little brother. The developmental ped we saw at age 3 really didn’t have any answers but lets watch her and see what happens but you might be looking at autism. Funny thing was she was comparing Lucy to her older brother who at the time was not diagnosed but was diagnosed last year with Autism. Lucy now at 6 show’s zero signs of the troubles she had at age 3 and 4 they are saying she defiantly had some sort of dd but what they don’t know. And really I don’t want to have her tested.
July 29, 2011 at 2:57 pm
[…] him for his developmental evaluation at a hospital in Boston. It’s the appointment that I canceled back in March, when my gut was telling me that there was nothing wrong. It’s the appointment that I […]
December 11, 2012 at 3:01 pm
[…] to pull the trigger on making the appointments for Lewis. I would make the appointment and then cancel. I would stare at the paperwork. I spent so much time looking for “it” – the […]