It’s pretty clear from some of my last posts that I need to take a break from all things autism once again. It’s time for a B Side.
Some of you know that Tim and I have, um, different political views. He’s the Mary Matalin to my James Carville. And yes, I’m not sure which one of us finds that more insulting. So in honor of my least favorite holiday (Valentine’s Day), I bring you an interview with my most favorite man:
ME: So, when did you develop such strong political views?
TIM: I saw that you reworded that questions. Originally you started with “how did you get so wrong-headed”?
ME: I’m trying to be kind.
TIM: My opinions have always been strong. Comes from the confidence in knowing that I’m right.
ME: Does it bother you that we have different views?
TIM: No. I do find yours a bit disturbing at times. (smiling)
ME: When I was in the Vermont Legislature before we were married, you were incredibly supportive. Was that hard?
TIM: No, we were on the same side of that debate (about civil unions). I’m a social liberal. We would have had strenuous debates had you consistently voted to expand government. But I wasn’t living in Vermont, so it wouldn’t have affected me.
ME: Speaking of that, would you ever vote for me?
TIM: Yes, because you’re a good person. But it would be hard if you were supporting a platform that included the expansion of government.
ME: What do you think we’re teaching our kids about politics?
TIM: We’re not teaching them anything political. Because we don’t talk about it in front of them.
ME: We don’t?
TIM: No. Because you tell me not to.
ME: Would you consider any of my views a dealbreaker?
TIM: Of course not. You can have any wrong-headed opinions you want.
(playfully smiles at me again. The smile that made me fall for him all those years ago.)
ME: But we agree on the important stuff, right?
TIM: No. We agree on stuff that IS important. But there is a lot of important stuff, like fiscal responsibility, that we don’t agree on.
ME: Do you know that I end every political conversation with you by saying “Okay, but you’re wrong!” in my head?
TIM: Clearly you keep it in your head because you can’t defend it out loud.
ME: (laughing) Do you derive anything positive from us having opposite views?
TIM: Other than the general sense that it’s what makes you you? Do you get anything positive from it?
ME: I do. You wouldn’t be you. It would be boring to just have someone agree with you all the time. Do you frustrate me? Constantly. Aren’t you glad we’ll always have something to talk about?
TIM: We could grow old talking about how evil government is, and I’d be okay with that.
(After 15 years he really knows how to push my buttons. I love this man.)
ME: But you love me, right?
TIM: Of course. Always and forever.
There you have it. I will never change him and he’ll never change me. I wouldn’t want it any other way. Just like I wouldn’t want to live anywhere where the weather is the same everyday. Sometimes it takes a week of 10 degree weather to really appreciate it when it’s 50 degrees and sunny. I love those moments when Tim and I are on the same page politically. It isn’t often, but when it happens, it’s pretty special.
I do believe that what we do agree on are the most important things – we want our three boys to live in a safe, caring world that respects people’s differences and differing opinions. We want them growing up knowing that they are well loved by their parents. And that their parents love each other too.
Even when the other parent is so clearly wrong.
“Love and marriage, love and marriage
They go together like a horse and carriage
This I tell you brother
You can’t have one without the other” – Love and Marriage by Frank Sinatra