I knew from the moment his head peeked around the bus seat that he had had a rough day.
When Howie’s upset, his whole face scrunches up into a giant frown. He would have the worst poker face.
My own face must have given me away when I looked at the bus monitor.
“Yes,” she said. “He is very grumpy about something from school. But he held it together on the bus. Told me with his words that he didn’t want me to talk to him or sit with him. He just sat there.”
I grabbed Howie’s hand and walked him off the stairs.
We stomped together down the driveway. I asked if he wanted to talk about it.
“NO!”
“Do you want to go in?”
“NO!”
It was 95 degrees outside and 99% humidity. Howie started pacing in the garage.
I sat.
“What are you doing?” I asked.
“I’M THINKING!”
Finally it comes out. “I had to finish a worksheet at camp before I came home but I had already done it in school before and I didn’t want to do it and they made me.”
“Did you tell them that?”
“NO! I JUST IGNORED THEM!”
He paced some more.
Somehow, I convinced him to come inside. More stomping.
He sat down in his beloved green chair. His face was still frowning.
From the other room, we could hear Lewis working with his home ABA therapist. They were playing a game, talking quietly.
Howie looked at me. He wiped away a tear.
Leaning over, he whispered in my ear.
“I’m going to go in there and put on a happy face. Even though I’m not.”
I was stunned.
“Oh…okay.” I stuttered back.
And he did.
I followed him into the room. He looked at Lewis’ therapist, gave her a big smile, and said “Hi!”
“Hi Howie! How was your day?”
“Good!”
She looked at him. “You look happy. Are you happy?”
“Yes,” he said. “I am.”
He turned to me.
Gave me a little smile.
He turned back to them. “Can I play the game too?”
“Of course!”
Wiping away a tear myself, I sat down.
The three of them played the game. Incident free.
Howie sat on my lap when the game was over.
I whispered in his ear.
“I’m very proud of you.”
“I did it,” he whispered back. “I fooled them.”
Maybe I will take him with me to Vegas after all.
“Can’t read my, can’t read my
No he can’t read my poker face
(She’s got to love nobody)
Can’t read my, can’t read my
No he can’t read my poker face
(She’s got to love nobody)” – Poker Face by Lady Gaga
July 18, 2012 at 3:22 pm
This story is giving me goosebumps! Good for him! That is amazing that he could put aside the way he was feeling in order to participate with his brother. Wow!
Most adults can’t even do that. It’s so much easier to just be mad. I think I can learn something from Howie!
July 18, 2012 at 3:30 pm
Wow, that is incredible. So glad I stopped by to read this. So happy for you.
July 18, 2012 at 3:32 pm
That…that is awesomeness that I can only hope for one day. Enjoy this one..it’s huge!
July 18, 2012 at 4:01 pm
So, so proud of Howie… for him and for you!!! He “gets it” on such a very special level. Hugs to you both
July 18, 2012 at 4:13 pm
Spectacular! Way to go Howie!!
July 18, 2012 at 6:21 pm
i <3 Howie. sweet boy.
July 19, 2012 at 7:54 am
Wow! Just… wow! Amazing how they can do that isn’t it? Do something we had no idea they were capable of, seemingly out of the blue. Yay, Howie!
July 19, 2012 at 9:25 am
He is one amazing young guy – so proud of him!
July 19, 2012 at 12:58 pm
How incredibly, amazingly, wonderfully brave. God, Alysia… you have such wonderful boys. Heck, even I’M proud!
July 20, 2012 at 10:16 am
I love your son. I really do.
xxoo
August 10, 2012 at 12:11 pm
Again- your post brought tears to my eyes. I need to stop reading your blog while I’m at work :-/ Really- I can’t wait to go home and read back through the archives though- already I’m hooked!
August 10, 2012 at 1:11 pm
Oh my goodness thank you
I’m so glad you’re here.