Somehow, we remembered. It must be a Christmas miracle.
Last year, a few of my friends from my support group were talking about getting their kids’ pictures taken with Santa at the mall. Or rather, not getting them. The lines, the looks, the sensory overload…it was all too much for their kids.
I blurted out, “I wish we could have our own Santa somewhere so your kids could get their pictures with him without worry.”
We were quiet for a moment. Then a friend said “My sister-in-law has a Santa suit. We could do it.”
“Someone remember this for next year.” I said.
And somehow…we did.
**********
Five of us started talking, and the plan began to come together in mid-November. Instead of our monthly support group meeting, we’d have a holiday party for our families instead. We’d hold it at our local community house for free, have pizza and drinks, and bring in some crafts and toys for the kids to play with.
Low key. Joyous and simple, my friend said.
And of course, Santa.
I recruited my friend’s husband to play the role of Jolly Saint Nick. He’s amazing with kids and has known Howie since he was a toddler. He’s not a special needs dad, but he’s a very special dad. If anyone could play Santa for our kids, it would be him.
The RSVPs from our support group friends flooded in. We were expecting 60 people. Thirty-five kids.
I got a call that morning from one of the moms in our group. She was coming with her crew – her husband, her 11 year old daughter, and her 7 year old son, who has autism. She thanked us a hundred times for this. Her son had never seen Santa – it’s always been too hard to get him out to see him at the mall – and her daughter still believes and wants to see him too.
She said we’ve made “Christmas exciting for her family again.”
I almost burst into tears on the phone.
**********
The afternoon of the party came and I was a nervous wreck. I only had to bring the Hot Wheels cars, the crafts, and make sure Santa was there on time. For some reason, I felt like so much was riding on this. We were promising our friends so much – the ability to play and eat and talk to Santa on their own terms. Could we pull it off?
We could.
**********
Let me tell you something. Our kids…they are something special.
They walked into that room and somehow they knew it was a safe space.
A place to just “be”.
They sat on the floor and played with cars. They built with blocks and made snowman crafts. They played with what they wanted to play with. Ate when and what they wanted to eat.
There were no meltdowns. No “interfering behaviors”. No “non-compliance”.
They were themselves.
I made the big announcement that Santa was in the building at 6pm. You could feel the kids’ excitement as he walked into the room.
We had a special spot for Santa to sit in the back of the room for photos. Tim set up his camera equipment to get that special shot. Santa gave the kids “high-fives” and we had a seat next to him for the kids to sit in. Not on him.
Because…we know.
Santa took his place and the kids made their way over to him in their own way. Some rushed over and got in line. Some moseyed their way over, checking out the scene. Some hung back, going over if they felt like it.
Santa on their own terms.
No one was more excited to see Santa than my own Howie. My little Jewish boy jumped up and down when Santa walked in. He pulled me down and whispered in my ear: “Is Santa real or fake?”
“What do you think?” I said, holding my breath. I didn’t know if he recognized my friend in the suit.
“I think he’s real.” he whispered back. Good enough for me.
We had kids get their pictures taken with Santa who had never been able to be in the same room with him before.
As my friend said: “Community house? Free. Pizzas? $10 each. Our kids’ smiles? Priceless.”
and my personal favorite photo:
I wish I had the words to describe the joy in that room that night. Let’s just say that the kids were all full of awesome.
That night, a few of us went out for drinks. One of my friends said she’s never seen her daughter that happy.
“She could just…be.”
Exactly.
There was no stress for our kids to be something else. They were surrounded by acceptance and understanding and pure unconditional love.
The way the holidays are supposed to be.
**********
I have Santa signed on for next year already. This Jewish girl saw the magic of Christmas and I will never ever forget it.
“The moon is right
The spirit’s up
We’re here tonight
And that’s enough
Simply having a wonderful Christmas time
Simply having a wonderful Christmas time ” – Wonderful Christmas Time by Paul McCartney










December 21, 2011 at 5:21 pm
I wish I was your neighbor. xo
December 21, 2011 at 8:07 pm
I wish you were too. Someday. Love you.
December 21, 2011 at 5:25 pm
This is so amazing, Alysia. I read your blog regularly and find it very inspiring.
December 21, 2011 at 7:12 pm
wow!!! you are so amazing, Alysia! so happy that you all found your Christmas miracle… Happy Hannukah, my friend xoxo
December 21, 2011 at 8:08 pm
Thank you! It wasn’t me that was amazing, though, it was our kids and the incredible group of people who are their parents. I was lucky to be a part of something so special.
December 21, 2011 at 8:06 pm
Thank you Becky! It was an awesome night, inspired by our amazing kids.
December 21, 2011 at 5:32 pm
Oh boy – how wonderful! You and your friends made something very special happen. I always try to get a Santa photo for my kids each year. As a foster carer I feel like that is just a little something they can always have to mark the occasion. It ain’t cheap – no group shots for us as everyone is from a different bio family and needs their own separate photo. But it’s getting harder and harder for my soon to be 5yo who is on the spectrum.
I go in early so we are first in line – no waiting, instructions to the photographer – take as many shots as possible in the shortest amount of time – you’ve got about 10 seconds! We got one this year, but you have truly inspired me for next year. Well done! Happy Hanukkah!
December 21, 2011 at 8:09 pm
So glad you got your picture this year! I’m impressed by how well you planned it!
December 21, 2011 at 5:35 pm
Looking at the pictures just made me cry…
You’re amazing. And yeah, I wish I were your neighbor too.
December 21, 2011 at 8:09 pm
The pictures make me cry too. Very happy tears. The kids are the amazing ones. There’s no doubt about that.
December 21, 2011 at 5:42 pm
What a wonderful idea. I hope others will join in and do the same in their communities. Sometimes you just have to branch out and do things your way, which often times ends up being the best way:-)
December 21, 2011 at 8:11 pm
It did end up being the best way, you are right. It was so easy (and inexpensive) once we did it together. It was truly a group effort with some of the most incredible parents I’ve ever met. I’m honored to call them friends.
December 21, 2011 at 6:12 pm
Ditto what Beth said and thanks for making me all teary and blubbery at my desk
.
December 21, 2011 at 8:11 pm
Would love to be your neighbor too. Thank you.
December 21, 2011 at 6:32 pm
So fabulous. This is truly amazing. You made such a difference for so many. Way to go.
December 21, 2011 at 8:12 pm
Thank you. And hurray for the awesome santa too, who “got it” even though he doesn’t live it. We need more santas like that.
December 21, 2011 at 7:12 pm
There was no stress for our kids to be something else. They were surrounded by acceptance and understanding and pure unconditional love.
amen
December 21, 2011 at 8:13 pm
Amen indeed. Isn’t that the way it should be? Always? Thank you.
December 21, 2011 at 8:24 pm
so so great! i love the idea of sitting beside Santa and not on his lap. what a wonderful gift to so many children and families, alysia.
December 21, 2011 at 9:12 pm
Thank you. I learn so much from everyone I know…it was how we were able to make this so special.
December 21, 2011 at 8:53 pm
You are my hero!!! So much love in this. Unlimited. Such a thing of beauty.
December 21, 2011 at 9:12 pm
Unlimited love. No doubt. For all our kids, who are the real heroes in this.
December 21, 2011 at 8:55 pm
Girl, that picture of Howie sitting next to Santa is PRICELESS. I LOVE THIS PICTURE!!!!
December 21, 2011 at 9:13 pm
I know! I love it too. He was over the moon.
December 21, 2011 at 9:25 pm
That is awesome!
December 22, 2011 at 4:56 pm
I know! The kids were incredible.
December 21, 2011 at 9:39 pm
What a brilliant idea well done and Merry Xmas to you all from your Aussie friends
December 22, 2011 at 4:57 pm
Merry Christmas to you too! Thank you!
December 22, 2011 at 3:49 am
I really wish I could find a group like yours. I could really use the camaraderie.
December 22, 2011 at 5:02 pm
We found each other by stepping out of our comfort zone a little. I met these ladies because their kids are were in my son’s preschool class. One chance encounter outside of school, one “hey…I think our kids are in class together” led to “your child is on the spectrum too?”. And the rest is history. Until that moment, i thought i was the only one in town. I bet there are parents in your area feeling the same way as you. You just never know.
December 22, 2011 at 9:18 am
What a fantastic idea! Good on you! I got a little misty.
December 22, 2011 at 5:02 pm
I still get misty thinking about it
. Thank you.
December 22, 2011 at 11:43 am
What a wonderful story – I love how a simple (and easy!!) change (putting a chair beside Santa) can make such a difference. Thank you for sharing. This totally made my day!
December 22, 2011 at 5:04 pm
Thank you! The whole thing was just that…simple and easy. Who knows our kids better than us? We do what we need to do to make the holidays right for them, instead of some idea of what it’s supposed to be. This is how it’s supposed to be, in our new world.
December 23, 2011 at 6:01 am
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December 24, 2011 at 9:00 pm
An award-winning idea! Well, really, it was its own reward, wasn’t it?
December 27, 2011 at 9:00 pm
I am late to the party……so proud of you and your entire support group!!! Wonderful idea and loved, loved, loved the sweet pictures!