I’m having a hard time figuring out how to start this post.
Probably because my emotions are all over the place. Today is the last Friday of preschool, and I’m just back from our final monthly parent meeting at the school.
Next stop, kindergarten.
There’s no question that Howie’s ready. We went over his last preschool progress report and reviewed all his goals and objectives. He’s where he needs to be. His teachers have created a fantastic transition plan for him, and the staff at the elementary school is well aware of his challenges and his strengths. They are ready for us to be there.
But I’m not ready to leave this school.
This is the school where it all started for us. The school that took us in when things were going so wrong. The place where we realized that we needed to get Howie evaluated and get him services. The staff that held my hand every step of the way during all those evaluations. The people who introduced me to the words “social story” and “applied behavior analysis” and “sensory diet”. The teachers who became partners in ensuring Howie’s success.
We were at a breaking point when we started two and a half years ago. Things could have gone so badly. But instead…
Everything has gone so right.
Clearly, I fear change. I’m not afraid to admit it. And it’s not that the new school is bad. In fact, it’s wonderful. My oldest goes there now. I know it will all be okay.
But I’m so comfortable in my preschool bubble. I know who to call when I need help. They know me and understand me.
In our meeting today, Howie’s teacher reminded me that “change is growth”. She was talking about Howie, of course, but she was speaking to me as well.
When Howie started at the school, he looked like this:
And now he looks like this:
My friends and I joke that we’re in a constant state of being proud and scared with our kids. With every accomplishment they have, it leads to the next stage of challenges and hurdles. I’m so proud and amazed by all that he has done in these few short years. I’m also scared out of my mind about what comes next.
I’m preparing myself with my timers and my visual schedule. Just don’t be surprised to see me having a meltdown on the driveway come August 30th.
“Closing time
Time for you to go out to the places you will be from
Closing time
This room won’t be open til’ your brothers or your sisters come
So gather up your jackets
Move it to the exits
I hope you have found a friend
Closing time
Every new beginning comes from some other beginning’s end.” – Closing Time by Semisonic
June 10, 2011 at 1:18 pm
The great thing is that all those skills you’ve both learned during his time there will set him up for Kindergarten and beyond. You’re both going to be fine.
June 10, 2011 at 1:39 pm
I so get this. The difference between preschool and kindergarten is huge, even for typical kids. But you are in the best possible position for your guy. There will probably be bumps, but he—and you—will be okay. You really will.
June 10, 2011 at 1:40 pm
These transitions can be so hard (and I mean for YOU, Mama, not just for your kid). Howie is doing great and Kindergarten will be a grand new adventure for BOTH of you, just you wait and see. Big hugs.
June 10, 2011 at 3:15 pm
I completely feel where you are. We’re in the exact same place. I too have been struggling for the words to describe it because my thoughts, like yours, are all over the place. Our little school has been our safe haven for 2 years. But you sound like you have found a wonderful placement for next year. Of course, it will be hard, but it will be okay. Even better than okay. Thanks for writing – it was so nice to hear from someone who so completely understands.
June 10, 2011 at 8:28 pm
I know exactly how you feel. Transitions-change-the unknown-I feel stressed just typing the words. When school starts back up in August just call on all of your mama bloggers and we can put together a special social story for you. I know there are so many times that I feel that I have needed them more than Dawson. But please know that you are not alone in how you feel. I have been there and I know I will be there again when we flow through any othere changes in our life.
June 10, 2011 at 8:36 pm
I know exactly what you’re feeling. I absolutely hated leaving the comforts of preschool to move Eli onto kindergarten and all of the unknown. This year has been fabulous for him. But, now kindergarten is over and the anxiety over moving to 1st grade is ever present. Some things never change…
June 10, 2011 at 11:45 pm
You are allowed the melt down! I think we all still have the meltdowns when they head off on that first day…
I always have to remind myself, is it me that doesn’t want to leave the bubble or I don’t want them to leave the bubble? I have to make myself believe that its me……
June 11, 2011 at 9:43 pm
I love how you know the teachers are talking about you as much as your son. Moe’s teacher has been such a source of strength to me this year. Fortunately, we have at least one more year of preschool.
But congratulations on the achievements you’ve both had. It is surely something to celebrate.
June 12, 2011 at 7:58 pm
I work at an elementary (attendance clerk). I wish more parents were as grateful for the partnership.
Howie is a real cutie pie!
~ Mona : )
June 13, 2011 at 7:34 pm
Howie is adorable! Starting in a new place is so tough.
June 13, 2011 at 9:51 pm
these sorts of changes are one of the many difficult things us parents do, but just think of all the new wonderful experiences kindergarten will have in store!