“Mom! I can smell the wind!”
It was a Saturday afternoon and I was off to get my hair cut. I needed one desperately – it had been about 5 months since my last one, and it was clearly way overdue. It was a perfect warm sunny day.
And at the last minute, I decided to take Howie with me.
He climbed into the car and settled into his seat. I buckled him in and told him where we were going. No preparation ahead of time. I slid the van door closed and got into my seat.
“Mom, can you roll down the windows?”
I was surprised by this request, to say the least. My sensory seeker becomes a sensory avoider when it comes to wind. He has always hated having the windows open in the car, ever since he was a baby. He doesn’t like the feel of the wind on his face, or the noise that the air makes as it rushes through the car. He hates any loud noise, really, except when he’s the one making it.
I’m the opposite. One of my favorite things ab0ut spring and summer was the windows down in the car. The feeling of the wind flowing past me calms me while I drive. The noise is comforting. And for 5 summers, I’ve missed it. Windows have been kept up and the air conditioning on around my kid.
Until today.
I rolled down the windows halfway on both sides and pulled out of the driveway.
“Roll them down more. All the way. Make them match.”
I obliged, and we were on our way.
We live about ten minutes from the highway entrance, so for the first part of the ride we were traveling about 35 miles an hour. Every once in a while I’d check in to see how he was doing.
“Too windy?”, I’d ask.
“No!”, came the response each time. His hands bobbed up and down in the wind as it flowed past him.
Then the request : “Can you turn the music on?”
This too has been something I’ve missed. I love listening to music in the car – my music. But for so long the radio has taken a back seat to the kids’ movies, or nothing at all. Usually when Howie asks for “music” he means Sheryl Crow’s “Soak Up the Sun” over and over again. And again.
This time, I turned on the radio. “How’s this?” I asked.
“Fantastic.”
He was quiet as he listened to the different songs come on over the speakers. Occasionally, he would ask what a word meant from a song or tell me that “this song is all about fireworks!” (thank you Katy Perry). But for the most part, he just sat back and…relaxed.
We turned on to the entrance ramp for the highway and I started to roll up the windows. I explained that we were going to be going really fast and that it would get very noisy and windy in the car.
Howie protested. “No! Leave them open!”
So I did.
I hit the highway at 50 miles an hour. Then 55…then 60.
It got noisier and noisier in the car. Howie was still smiling.
65 miles an hour. Then 70. Still no complaining.
I turned the radio up as I approached 75 miles an hour. “Learn to Fly” by the Foo Fighters came over the speakers.
“MOM!” Howie yelled from the back of the car. “I can smell the wind!”
We arrived at my hair cut right on time. For the 20 minutes it took to wash and cut my hair, Howie sat perfectly right next to me with my iPad, intent on beating my high score. Amidst all the noises and smells in the salon, he focused on his game. As we were leaving the receptionist said he was the best behaved boy they had seen in there in while.
The windows were open again on the ride home, and we were able to proudly announce to Dad that we made “green choices” for the whole trip.
**********
Sometimes I get so stuck in our ways that I forget to push the envelope a little. I worry that if we don’t drive to school on a certain road, or eat pizza from a particular place, or run out of green straws, the whole world will fall apart. It’s easy to do the things we always do, even if it’s meant giving up something that I enjoy.
Like having the windows down.
It just took one time to try it. Now the windows are down every single time we’ve been out since then.
And together, my son and I can smell the wind.
“Fly along with me, I can’t quite make it alone
Try and make this life my own (and)
Fly along with me, I can’t quite make it alone
Try and make this life my own. . .
I’m looking to the sky to save me
Looking for a sign of life
Looking for something to help me burn out bright
I’m looking for a complication
Looking cause I’m tired of trying
Make my way back home when I learn to. . .fly” – Learn to Fly by the Foo Fighters
June 8, 2011 at 2:13 pm
Oh….so beautiful!! I can smell the wind too!!!! Such hope in your writing!!!
June 8, 2011 at 2:24 pm
Hey, this is terrific. I didn’t know it was such an accomplishment since the last time Howie and I went to pick up bagels, he had his window down the whole time!!
June 8, 2011 at 2:46 pm
Isn’t it amazing how such a seemingly small thing can be such a triumph? Such a happy post : )
June 8, 2011 at 2:53 pm
The more therapy that you get (and the more maturing you do) the easier things are going to be. Good for y’all!
June 8, 2011 at 3:07 pm
forgot to tell you that he asked for the windows down on the way home the other day..and I had the sun roof open too. As I said he was perfect, the ride was over too quickly.
June 8, 2011 at 4:08 pm
beautiful-I love the image of the 2 of your speeding down the road with wind and music-and the fact that he can handle this-and wants it!
June 8, 2011 at 4:20 pm
Thanks for taking us on the ride with you. I swear I can feel the wind in my hair too. Keep pushing that envelope, my friend.
June 8, 2011 at 5:01 pm
Wow! What a fantastic time!!! That WAS an amazing time of A LOT of green-light choices all in one outing! AWESOME! We have similar car challenges and we had to work hard to be able to have the radio on. Still working on not only being able to have the windows down sometimes but even the AC or heat vents up too high as our son doesn’t like that air noise! It can be easy for me not to push that envelope and just “stay put” to keep peace but your story is a good reminder that our kids to grow and change! Thank you for sharing your ride with us!!!
June 8, 2011 at 6:41 pm
Sounds wonderful. BTW, you are very brave taking your child with you to a haircut appointment. These are the kind of places that tend to ban my kids.
June 8, 2011 at 9:08 pm
That’s awesome Howie! I personally hate the windows rolled down. Everyone in my family loves it but it drives me crazy! And, I do my best to avoid taking either of the kids with me to get a hair cut. It’s my 30-40 minutes of alone time. Probably why I only get a haircut every 4-6 months!
June 8, 2011 at 10:54 pm
is it possible that Howie is becoming more comfortable with himself through your hard work and his maturity? A tiny bit of self regulation? He is getting more “comfortable in his own skin”. I am so glad he loves the smell of the wind- what a fabulous sensory experience…
June 9, 2011 at 1:39 am
This is just so damn awesome! I love it when they surprise us with (positive) change. One of my theories as to why it’s always so surprising is that our autistic kids don’t go through the developmental changes in the same lockstep pace as our “Neuro-typical” ones. We expect our NT kids to change in certain predictable ways every six months, every year, etc. etc.
But our ASD kids can get stuck in plateaus for so long, we forget that they are just steps in a process, they can feel permanent, like just who they are. then suddenly, out of the blue, often with no baby steps leading up to it… whammo, they’ve changed, moved on to something new. And it’s like “Oh, OK, after YEARS of being easygoing about transitions, you’re having separation anxiety now. You’re 8 and most kids go through this at 3, but OK let’s deal with that now.”
So glad that Howie’s change is all about expanding his sensory repertoire, into something his mama loves… YAY!
June 9, 2011 at 7:17 am
I love this. Thank you for sharing. I have felt alone for a very long time and quite overwhelmed. I have four children, and three have chronic medical conditions, some diagnosed and some are not yet. My sons definitely have Sensory Integration Disorder, and I can relate with this so well. It is so refreshing to hear about others’ situations and progress. Thank you.
June 9, 2011 at 8:03 am
That is great, I can’t even take my NT GIRL with me to get my hair cut without her acting up.
I love how he can smell the wind. So many times we do things and by-pass the small things in our rush. What a beautiful thing to have happen–to feel the wind through your hair and on your face and enjoying it with your son, that’s huge!
June 9, 2011 at 9:42 am
The Foo Fighters can make anything possible.
But seriously, this is awesome. What a great post!
June 9, 2011 at 10:31 am
I am smiling and reveling in the sweetness of this success. I can see you, in my mind’s eye, driving down the highway dancing to the rhythm of the wind and song. It’s an awesome vision, my friend.
June 10, 2011 at 8:08 am
Beautiful story!!!! I’m so glad you got to enjoy that together!
Little Miss loves the wind from the car window and it is SHE who taught me how refreshing that can be. It’s amazing what our kids can do when we only remember to let them try, isn’t it?