30 seconds to go to the bathroom uninterrupted.

45 seconds to heat up my coffee in the microwave for the 4th time today.

5 minutes to take a shower without someone having a tantrum.

10 minutes to eat dinner without someone needing a giant squishy hug.

1 hour for a power nap.  Or better yet,

8 hours of continuous sleep.

I’ve been thinking a lot about time.  It’s not a surprise.

365 days since my son’s PDD-NOS diagnosis.  Today.

One year since I sat for 2 hours in the doctor’s office to confirm what we already knew.

10 minutes to read the “red flags” pamphlet and wonder why no one had given this to us earlier.  40 minutes on the phone with our local autism resource center to learn about support services in our area.  90 minutes in an IEP meeting to create a plan for my son for the next 12 months.

A year.

I look back at where we were last December 21st.  Confused.  Scared.  Overwhelmed.  Alone.

Now, today.  Still confused.  Still overwhelmed.  But no longer scared.  And no longer alone.

A year filled with more successes than failures.  30 minutes of the boys sitting together watching Wow Wow Wubbzy.  A 2 day trip to Storyland.  A Thanksgiving dinner that lasted more than 2 minutes. A bedtime routine that is now 5 minutes instead of 45 minutes.  The day I left the house for 19 hours to see Glee in New York City.

All of these moments could have never happened a year ago.  Thanks to intensive services and lots of therapy.  And time.  We had time on our side.

Our son will have a lifetime of hard work ahead of him.  But we’ll get through each minute together.

When I first had kids, my friend told me that the days drag but the years fly by.

365 days.

A year that started with such heartache.  A moment now filled with hope and promise.  Tomorrow, the clock will start all over again and we’ll be in year two of our diagnosis.

I know that someday I’ll sit with my warm coffee and my hot dinner after a long shower following a full night’s sleep.

I’m ok with that someday not being now.

Time is waiting
We only got 4 minutes to save the world
No hesitating
We only got 4 minutes, 4 minutes” – 4 Minutes by Madonna and Justin Timberlake

About these ads